2011

A bright new year

Celebrations and expectations

So called “new yr resolutions”

Marked down as Prayer points in my journal

1,2,....5, 6 down

Applying “mustard seed” faith, its my first time around

Never done this before, I fear

None of this will appear-I stare at the image, “rear”

Past new years have been spent wasted, drunk with my peers

Beers, vodka, an overflow of tears

Resulting from the regret and neglect of self

I projected the image of a lost girl

When I was actually one of the elect-ed pearls

A precious stone, but sadly a ruby in dirt

Trapped in the math of confusion and hurt

But Christ came, died, resurrected, and in doing so, we were subtracted from the dark desinence

That awaited; what we deserved for our carelessness and our lack of godliness

The lamb, The Son. He was surely innocent

The price He paid, we called atonement

Grace saved, all in the exchange of our shame

We had nothing to offer Him in our desperation and pain

We lost and lacked everything, and yet we gained

Eternal life, in return, after this Lamb was slain

Our past desires birthed sin, and sin, herself, full grown was pregnant with death

Aborted, when He conquered the grave and got promoted

To glory, Our Savior is Holy!

The blood He shed covers our transgressions,

It begins with an honest confession

When we invite and accept Him

He forgives and delivers

You simply have to believe.

Christmas is here and no! Its not about santa

Us, we understand this, our CHRIST not like the “masses” that surround us!

When we think about lights, we are reminded that He is the LIGHT of the world

When we think about gifts, John 3:16 reminds us of how our Father gave His only son so that we may live

This is a celebration of how it all began

A young virgin girl and a carpenter

Obedient and submissive to the Father

Parents fit to raise a king

So my wish this Christmas is that we may serve, obey and forgive!

Love and give, instead of just receiving!

This morning’s thoughts……..

Even when you think you know

You don’t

How can one fully comprehend a love that surpasses human knowledge?

If I tried to explain what its like!

It would have to be expressed through the cries of new born babies in their mother’s arms

Through the motion of a person just WALKING

Through laughter, through still nothing-ness as one sits down and just breathes His air

Through thinking, yes-through thoughts- sanity is a gift

Through sleeping-laying down to rest as He keeps watch

Through drinking coffee-yes, By embracing and savoring tastes on your tongue when they are the same ones that He could remove since they still curse and reject Him

Through EVERYTHING

ITS ALL A GIFT

IT’S ALL A PRIVILEGE, undeserved!

Love is, God is in everything you’ve been able to do today!

LA RAZON

Quien soy?
Cada día lo mismo
Aqui estoy.
Con los mismos problemas de ayer
y menos ganas para el día de hoy.
Me siento incompleto,
quiero más
pero no lo encuentro,
cada día
lo busco
LO digo,porque sigo sin saber que es LO que necesito,
LO unico que se y de que estoy muy seguro,
es que tiene que haber algo más.
Algo más para cubrir este hueco,
Esta depresión que tengo por dentro,
este vacio que se ha quedado sin abrigar,
nada ni nadie puede llenar;

borracheras y noches bailando sin parar,
otra vez quiero llenarlo con mi nuevo hábito de fumar
Y claro que tiene que haber alguien para amar,
O mejor dicho alguién que me ame...
Necesito caricias y dulces mentiras,
besos calientes y lentos,
abrazos tiernos acompañado de susurros,
Vaya decepción!!!
Todo es un engaño,
porque aquí sigo,
Y además menos satisfecho,
Y con más conocimiento,
de la falta que me hace,
esta cosa deconocida...
Para lo cual llora mi alma!
Deseo tanto ello!!

Tiene que haber algo mas!!
O tal vez estoy equivocado y necesito alguién más?
Alguién que me pueda salvar??
No hablo de las personas de siempre...
los que parecen que tienen alas al principio,
Angeles son,
pero angeles oscuros que sólo me hacen daño,
Esta vez necesito alguién diferente!!

Un HEROE,
Un SALVADOR,
Y claro,esto no es un cuento de hadas...
Esto es Vida
Prefiero vivir una vida nueva,
Donde estas?
Cuando vendras?
TE ESPERO,
Sera que tu tambien me estas buscando?
Será que yo te hago falta??
Tal vez??

Mientras todas estas preguntas me confunden,
sigo esperando algo duradero y eterno!
Me acuerdo de la Biblia,
La palabra de Dios,
de un Salmo exactamente,que dice
[Salmos 55:22..].
Echa sobre Jehova tu carga,
y él te sustentará;
No dejará para siempre caído al justo.
Todo tiene un principio,
Este vacio comenzo con algo,
tal vez con mis cargas
Todos llevamos cargas,
todos tenemos problemas.
Te acostumbras de ellos,
Llegas a pensar que eso es normal y aceptable,esperar lo peor,
llegas a acostumbrarte a las relaciones malas,
llegas a acostumbrarte a los sueños rotos,
llegas a esperar menos y en esta manera menos frustación,
Pero si hay alguién para tenerlos,
Pues para que los sigo llevando??
Si hay alguién a mi disposición.
Alguién dispuesto a ayudarme,
Entonces porque no quiero su ayuda???
Y encima El promete SOSTENERME!

Porque?
Porque este tal Jehova quiere ayudarme?
Quiero saber porque!!!
Deseo conocerle
Si!!!!,
sino por cualquier otra razón,sólo por curiosidad.
Me encuentro buscando respuestas,
preguntando a mi familia y a mis amigos.
Bueno y tampoco quiero parecer como un loco,
creyendo en lo desapercibido,
Pero mejor vivir por un misterio,
que por nada en absoluto!

Las obras de Dios son misterios
Porque ahora me encuentro con una Biblia,
que me ha dado un desconocido en el bus.
Si!!! hay algo en decir el que busca encuentra!!
Respuestas!
Sigue pidiendo y recibiras lo que pides.
Sigue buscando y encontraras,.
Sigue llamando y la puerta se te abrira!!
Mateo 7:7...el primer verso que me muestra mi nuevo amigo

Me cuenta de un amigo que se mantiene más leal que un hermano.
Me cuenta de un sacrificio por mi y por todo el mundo,
El sacrificio más grande e insuperable...
me cuenta de la manera que murió,
De la manera que le tratarón,
De la SANGRE que fué derramada...

Porque?? le pregunte!
y lo que me dijo,
fué la respuesta más corta de la historia.
POR SU AMOR

Su amor por mi y todos los que creen en EL.
Si! asi de fácil...porque en Juan 3:16,dice que Dios amo tanto al mundo,que dio a su unico Hijo,para que todo aquel que crea en él no se pierda,sino que tenga VIDA ETERNA.
Si tenemos un padre que nos ama tanto,que no se guardo ni a su propio Hijo,sino que lo entrego por todos nosotros,no nos dará también todo lo demas??(Romanos 8: 32)
y todo esto lo mostró cuando todavía éramos pecadores (Romanos 5:8)
Lloro cuando pienso de lo equivocado que he estado,
todos estos años perdidos,
buscando dinero ,felicidad y placeres,
Buscando en logros y títulos ganados,
Cuando todo este tiempo él me había ofrecido todo!!
Libertad de las ataduras en mi mente,
de los sistemas y filosofías de la vida.
Y además una promesa.

La PROMESA  de una ETERNIDAD,
Una ETERNIDAD a su lado,
una ETERNIDAD donde no hay DOLOR,
Dice que Dios enjugará toda lagrima de sus ojos,no habrá más muerte,ni llanto,ni clamor.
No habrá más dolor,
porque las primeras cosas pasaron,
Si!! eso forma parte de la promesa para lo cual desde el día de hoy VIVIRE.
Nunca más estare INCOMPLETO y pesado con cargas,
Porque el me llena,y El mismo me sostiene!!
He encontrado una razon PARA VIVIR!!

JESUCRISTO!!!

I AM WOMAN [REDEEMED]

I AM WOMAN [THE FLIRT]

I entertain compliments from men,
I love to gain attention from them
When they take time to notice my hair and outfit
But even more when they say I look attractive, Repulsive , would be the antonym that I would rather not receive
Lovely would be the synonym to it, whose acronym would simply mean:

L etting
O thers
V erify
E verything
L acking
Y/I nside
So Maybe I replaced the Y with the I
Especially since I am empty and living on the words from other guys
Feeding my insecurities and self esteem issues through identity-approvals from sweet lies

I am the woman who reacts to AFFECTION
Stage 1: Affiliation
Time spent
Stage two: nurturance
Public embrace
Stage three: Comes the play
I’m flirting on a regular, every single day
But affection just turned to the waking up of LOVE
Ive AROUSED it enough
Even after been URGED and CHARGED not to, by my Father above
Not once, but three times
In the songs of solomon 2:7, 8:4 and 3:5


I AM NOW IN LOVE WITH HIM!
Or atleast I think
He being the man who was simply flirting, taking it lightly
Not knowing that I, us women would react differently to being treated differently by him
He didn’t know when He sent those midnight or early morning texts
That I would read way in between the lines,
Looking for the COMPLEX meaning/what he was trying to say in such simple CONTEXT
Such as ……………ARE YOU ASLEEP!?

Believe it or not women, that’s all it takes
For your LOVE to wake
Falling in LOVE/ rather infatuated by the IMAGE
Of a photo never really taken
Thinking He is the one, the soul-mate,
Now youre CHASING AFTER HIM
Convinced its meant to be
But with such a beginning
I only have one question
WOULD CHRIST FLIRT LIKE HE DID
WOULD CHRIST play with your feelings?
Sweetheart HE SIMPLY WOULDN’T!
So this GUY AINT IT!


I am woman [in fear]
In fear of the next beating
In fear because I tend to offend Him
No! we’re not really married, but He needs me
And I love Him, just as He is
I can change him!

Let God handle it!
My dear Eve, Adam wasn’t a wife beater
Be free and leave, especially if there is no ring!!

I am woman [ALONE]
Im sitting outside the hospital lab
Im by myself, awaiting pregnancy results
Yes I repeat, by myself
He was too busy to come

Woman I only wish He was too busy for the sex you had last mth
But now you say you understand Him
Well understand this, this man doesn’t want a baby
And he surely doesn’t want you as his lady

I AM WOMAN
Desperate, incomplete, afraid, unhappy –IDENTITY NEEDED!

I AM WOMAN
Used, broken hearted, bruised and left to be by myself- HELP ME PLEASE!

ANYBODY?
Then in comes Christ ready to redeem you
Ready to show you the TRUTH- Your prefer LIES
Ready to show you the WAY- you take a different approach and run AWAY
Ready to give you NEW LIFE!-you’d rather just DIE!

I am WOMAN [REDEEMED]
Not because I deserved it
But because at that desperate point I let him IN
For I was the immoral woman at His feet,
Washing them with my hair and tears, till He forgave me

I was the woman about to be stoned by society
Spoken about and loathed, such hypocrisy, and again HE SAVED ME

I was the woman at the well,
Never lived right, a gentiles destiny should have been pure hell
But thank heavens for this Jewish God who allowed me to draw from Him
His living waters instead, as stated in john 7:38

For anyone who believes in me may come and drink!
'Rivers of living water will flow from His heart.'"




I WAS THIRSTY!
Now I am quenched
Now I find refreshing times drawing daily from His word
Each day I learn how to be a woman, VIRTUOUS
How to walk like the ESTHERS, RUTHs AND MARYS before me
I strive to be BOLD, LOYAL AND PURE like they proved to be
Warm and humble like Lydia
A woman of great character like Abigail
One who shall not run ahead of God like Sarah
But who shall wait on Gods promise for as long as it takes, JASMINE
I shall not be driven by my feelings
I shall not pursue so called romances and thrills

WOMAN
The last ones at the cross and the first ones at the tomb!

REDEEMED
Free from sin indeed!

I am WOMAN [REDEEMED]

MASTURBATING [MASTER-ED-BAIT-ING]

MASTURBATING [MASTER-ED-BAIT-ING]

 

A SLAVE obeys what HIS MASTER says

Such degrading labor, I was pleased with sexual play

Servitude, EMANCIPATION never came, just mere solitude

At a young AGE I began to PARTAKE

In this I call MY BODY’S SLAVE TRADE

GOING once, going twice, SOLD!

SOLD! To the beast, come RIGHT UP your slave to HOLD

Shackles and lock down, in the form of PORN

12 yrs old, the thrill was amazing, mind-blowing

Yes, my MIND was filled with illicit images of other men, BLOWING away my innocence

I was excited, when it began; I never really knew this was masturbating

Master he had me, using nude images as his BAIT

Master he had me believing that as long as it wasn’t SEX, I wasn’t really sinning

MASTERED this act of self-pleasure, it was quite fulfilling and the internet helped, it was always willing

Sites at the left-click of my computer mouse

Times I preferred to be Left alone with the TV and some tapes in the house

Darkness leads deception

Total destruction of morals, Guess you could call me just that, IMMORAL

ADDICTION follows, three or four times daily

I put the tape in and pressed PLAY, rewinded, and PLAYED IT again

I couldn’t end this urge, this ugly feeling

Must have been the conviction of THE HOLY SPIRIT, for I started to feel ILL

Right after this beautiful & perverted HIGH, I hit the ground, so LOW I felt I could DIE

Arousing myself in the shadows, there I would be soothed

Light I could not pursue, for it never set the mood

So Turn the lights down low [sing]

Never ever try to resist OH NO [sing]

I never OPPOSED

How could I fight it, I couldn’t refrain

After all I was only a slave

I must labor, and keep at it, don’t you know that sin has its WAGES!?

Master He deceived me into thinking that I needed that PAY!

That the work of 5 minutes would reap GOOD HARVEST

I worked as if I was the one to gain of this, HIS PRODUCE

My master HAD ME CONFUSED

Then there I learnt that Pleasure is PAIN

And they say to die is to GAIN

Though I was looking at it from a completely different context

You see I was taking pleasure in this my spiritual DEATH

GAINING nothing but losing myself-THIS WAS SURELY NO WEALTH

8 yrs down the line, still carrying unpleasant images in my mind

Peace I never seemed to find

Been a slave to this of most of my short adolescent life,

But now I desire to be free from this bondage in Egypt

Free from slaving for this, my body’s pharaoh, and being whipped

Free from Worshipping all this filthy idols

For out of this sexual intercourse with myself, came worship

And if not to God, then WHO received it!?

Sex is for a MAN AND HIS WIFE, 

For a MR and MRS,

I AM BRIDE, not a MISTRESS

Abolition came as sure as 1 Thessalonians 4:3

My fathers will, that I may be sanctified, and that I may abstain from this sexual immorality

That I may control my own body in Holiness and honor, and not in the passion of LUST like the gentiles who did not know Him!

 

I CONFESSED! I was no longer POSESSED

By the tempter, the evil one, no longer had me OPRESSED

Days of Distress when I felt all so DEPRESSED

Almost crushed, but just pressed

BEAUTY he gave me, from this MESS

“Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

1 Corinthians 6:13

This body is not even my OWN

So chains, My Saviour broke

I’m convinced that I’m no longer yoked

To this beast that CHOKED me

To this monster of a master who EVOKED dark spirits within me

Slavery for so many years, but my God HE PROVOKED a change

A new heart, replacing the old with THE WORD He SPOKE

From the genesis to revelation

From Psalms to Galatians

For It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

[GALATIANS 5:1]

This WORD is redemption

This WORD is SALVATION

His WORD is the perfect depiction of life, eternal

This WORD is GOD, The SPIRIT and His SON, immortal

I took this WORD and now I have all of the above

For in the beginning was THE WORD, and The WORD was with GOD, and the WORD was GOD, So I read in John 1:1

This WORD was and is evidence of His LOVE

LOVE that saves

LOVE that died for me and others, His life He FREELY GAVE

His BLOOD abolished slavery

In THIS WORD I walked away from the shackles on the ground, lying

And for the first time in my life,

For the first time since my birth

I knew Freedom was the SON

And I knew that I knew that I too was a SON too and not a slave

Now am ANTI-SLAVERY!

That many more may PROCLAIM and let Him BREAK THEM FREE!

OH THIS I PRAY!

FREE FROM SEXUAL SIN!

In Jesus name, AMEN!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiRzPBcrLos 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_5aaBxIe7o&feature=related 

All women can be free! Sadly 80% of the women in church deal with sexual sin, 25% confess about it!

I choose to be one! The enemy wants to destroy us all and he attacks us when we are young and vulnerable,steals away our innocence and plants a seed of pervesion that grows,and harvest when we are older!

Once the seed is harvested through daily habits,or rather obsessions, actions follow[behaviour change].

When you are fully conscious of how deep in sin you are,freedom seems impossible, especially if youre a christian, you end up living a double life!

I thank God that I was delivered from this sin! I fell to the enemys trap when I wasnt a believer,so when God delivered me,I promise you I KNEW I WAS REDEEMED from this aswell!

Its not impossible,you too can be delivered! speak out so that others may believe in redemption!

REDEMPTION IN THE BLOOD ALONE!

I was washed of my sins! I am no longer in pain,ashamed or condemning myself!

I AM FREE! JOYFUL! UNASHAMED!

This is part of my story! 

I am WOMAN REDEEMED!