IM IN LOVE WITH A DJ

Words!

One of the surest ways for me to express myself to you

I write and speak this hoping it sounds as good as I would want it to.

Limited I am, yet I know the Father will help me on this one,

Love oh Love I have struggled with it so many times in the past

Broken road they call it, mine was shattered and crushed

I awoke love one too many times with the wrong man

Got hurt

Got bored,

Never seemed to matter., it just didn’t work

So many pieces, they just never fit.

And now I find myself staring at that piece of the puzzle that was always missing

I wander sometimes if its real or just a dream

Yet I always wake up to the reality of you....and me

Its surreal.

My priest, I finally found a man who believes

Correction, I think you found me

There in that place of surrender

Laying in the arms of my Father,

Heart guarded, love sleeping, Ruth lieing at your feet

I was presented to you, Boaz, my King

My friend, my prayer partner, I love knowing we’re in this together

Every day it’s a journey

Every hangout, rewarding

I love talking with you, sometimes you wander why I'm quiet but babe its because I love listening to you, even more

I know I stare A LOT, its just that I want to take it all IN,

This moment, this minute, I want to be ALL HERE, all in it.

Never had so many fears, its been such a trip getting here

Yet I thank God perfect LOVE casts it all out and makes it all clear.

So every day I lay them all at His feet.

I keep asking the Lord to show me the way to your heart.

Old habits, tricks and gimmicks wont do it this time.

I'm committed to this being the last time.

The last hand I hold, The last chest I lay on

The only eyes I’ll look into

The only guy Ill share the next million moments with

The only guy I’ll talk to for hrs about anything and just about everything.

It will be a journey babe, ups downs, highs and lows,

But if we fix our eyes on the Most High, we’ll sow

Above the clouds, like eagles,

I'm convinced that there is nothing we cant do if we believe Him.

So many places to see, visions to be lived

I'm excited to see God make every hope a reality

Every dream a possibility

Down the line, we’ll have a baby, if God wills, many!

Then we’ll grow old and grey

Telling tales and laughing at each others jokes cause we’ll still keep it fresh

Listening to music, you mixing and me bumping my head

Basically what I'm saying is that it’s a love and hiphop kinda thing

You’re like a good beat with good lyrics, you're simply my good thing

This rib finally found her rib cage

Her master and Her mate

Belonging  feels so great

Good and perfect cause you’re from above

Sent from heaven to love me on this earth

I feel honored and humbled by your constant pursuit

Take a moment, press mute……you hear that

My heart beats faster when I'm next to you. 

The reward in discomfort

Maybe we don't need to be too comfortable

Maybe life and pain are compatible

Maybe sorrow is a gift

Maybe success is the opposite 

Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted.

Though loss never feels like a blessing
and pain never feels like a privilege
I think we are missing it
Holy Spirit help us understand this

Maybe I need to live on the edge, barely making ends meet,
Maybe we'll never fully arrive in this life,
and maybe thats not such a bad thing.

Maybe I need to loose more down here to gain more up there
Maybe thats why He calls us to die so that He may Live

Maybe I haven't fully embraced Christ if I havent embraced suffering
Maybe we are fortunate to go through it, and maybe we miss out on greater glory when faced with less affliction.

Maybe Im dreading what I should be embracing
Maybe this is the only way I can fix my eyes on Him

Maybe through storms I'm reminded to pray and seek God more

Maybe weakness is really strength
Maybe meekness is really wealth

Maybe, just maybe every bad thing is a good thing is disguise.
Maybe hurt is a must
and truly God is ENOUGH.

God laid it upon my heart to write this simple piece. He's been opening my eyes to this amazing revelation in regards to embracing the storms in life. Whenever I go through something I find myself in constant need of God. Yes I know that we ALWAYS need God since He created us that way, yet we tend to get passive and slacken in our faith the minute everything is A-okay!  Off late I have had the honor to witness various people, either virtually and in person, who have been "going through stuff" for lack of better words. At first I would sympathize, pray for them and thank God I wasn't them. *Truth be told*  Because no one ever looks forward to suffering or prays for tough times. We instead ask God to bless us, increase us, and to favor us, etc. Yet I'm starting to see that His ways are truly not ours! Mathew 5 has a completely different definition of what "being blessed" means. I once read a quote stating that "everything is upside down in the kingdom of God." With time, Im starting to see how true that is.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you're any less of a christian if things are going well in your life. I'm just writing this to challenge the way you handle that which is ahead.  I'm personally still seeking God to show me how to embrace the storms of life.  The truth is God is always behind it, either causing it or allowing it. He is sovereign and nothing will ever happen in your life without His consent! Rest assured His grace will always carry you through anything and everything. I keep asking God to show me the beauty in the ugly moments and to give me joy and a heart that is quick to say that "all is well!"
Storms come in many forms. You may be going through financial strain or you may have experienced sudden loss. I may not know why God does the things that He does but I do trust that He loves us and He never does anything to harm us. It is always for our good. Ive come to appreciate the unlikely, simply because it reminds me that this isn't my home. I don't want to get too comfortable or too distracted that I forget that I am simply passing through.  The Holy Spirit recently led me to praying "a very dangerous prayer" when I was leading prayers at my church. I found myself wailing and asking God to have us and prepare us for His return at any cost. Our God is a God of extremes and I'm starting to see that they are completely necessary in this life. Its not an easy declaration but I don't regret making that prayer because at the end of the day, I want to be with my Savior. Whether He calls me home, or He returns for us, I want to spend eternity with Him by any cost.
So maybe its not too bad whatever we're going through *however painful it is *  because God is molding us and making us to be more like Him. Through it all, He is perfecting us. Above all He is with us. He is near. He our every-present help in time of need. Let us be thankful because we are blessed to be going through it. Lets trust that He is working it all out for our good and His glory and let us remember that affliction is momentary and it is preparing us for eternal glory. Now how AMAZING IS THAT!

Don't get too comfortable!

The JOY Tug of war!

Oh Joy! Sweet Joy! How will I ever get a hold on you? And when I get you, show me how I can keep you!

I don't know if any you wrestle for joy as often as I do. Joy just doesn't come, you've got to want it to have it. I've been reading a book [in breaks] called 1000 gifts by Ann Voskamp. It has honestly opened my eyes and heart to the power of giving thanks. There is a need for us to constantly count all our blessings. There is a need for us to be thankful to God at all times, for the good and the bad. The beauty is that the bad is honestly the good in disguise because nothing ever happens to us without the Father giving consent. By knowing this, I am at rest because as long as God is behind it, allowing it or causing it, it will ALL work out for my good and HIS GLORY. So I repeat yet again, I MUST BE THANKFUL.

Now my mind has finally understood and perceived this amazing truth, but there are days.....oh yes....days I really don't want to be thankful. Days I want more than what I already have so that I may be happy. Days all this isn't enough. Oh how sad it is that we tend to be such ingrates! The story of eden repeats itself everyday. Like Adam and eve,the enemy has tricked us into believing that what we have isn't enough-into wanting more than we've been graciously given. Now there is no problem with wanting more, but there is a problem when you think what you have isn't enough and when you think the more you want is what is tied to your joy.
Such deception! Such lies! When the more comes, you will always want more, because the desires of an ungrateful person cannot be quenched. I am not even talking about having all the riches in the world. This post is for every person [like me] who forgets and looks down on what God has given them. This is a reminder to open your eyes and to fall face down in awe of how good and gracious God has been to you.

Praise Him for your portion. Praise Him for the ALL [trust me whoever you are if you're reading this, you are BLESSED in many ways and you need only open your eyes to see] Praise Him for being so mindful. Be grateful because God supplies all our needs according to His riches and glory, and all you have now is all that you need in this present moment!

In my case, I'm writing this and I can hear the Holy Spirit telling me, Jasmine stop complaining and worrying about how you'll get the money to fix that car or how you'll pay for the insurance, Rest, be grateful for it because I gave it to you. Jasmine stop coveting those cars you see others driving because they are NEW, unwrap the gift that is your little second hand pajero, begin to see it in a NEW light, and be grateful because its exactly what you need. Jasmine stop complaining about all the things that need fixing in your house, be grateful for the home I have given you.
Jasmine, BE GRATEFUL so that you may experience my JOY.

I listen, breath, exhale, and I know that I am blessed.
More will not do it. This is enough.
My joy is not tied to my possessions.
My joy is not tied to my feelings.
My joy is tied to the act of Thanksgiving.

Oh sweet amazing joy-I have you at last.

SLEEP LOVE! GOD WILL WAKE YOU WHEN ITS TIME!

As my adam sleeps, I too put my love to sleep, many times I nudge it to get up
Wake up love, wake up!
Wake up to infatuation, I think he's the one!
Wake up to lust, I'm attracted to this one!
Wake up to my past, I think we can work it out!
Wake up LOVE wake up!

Impatient I have been. Love has been too patient with me
Lieing at the feet of another womans Boaz
Picking the wheat in another mans field


My hearts keeper watching me closely, guarding the wellspring of my life
Promising to make things beautiful in His time, He whispers closely to my ear, that he has a good and perfect gift and that it shall be mine
Perceive, I think not, why do I search for other peoples gifts?
My heart is deceitful and it has plans
My master is faithful and He has perfect ones

Attention I seek, affection I crave
I dig my hearts grave
6 feet under in the soil of emotions
I let them lead me, I race and make haste
Their way seems right but it leads me to a broken place
Another broken heart
Another wound, more hurt

Bruised, my heart needs healing
Love needs to rest
I sing it a lullaby with my tears
Rock it to bed on a pillow of fear.

Fear to love again, Fear to give again. Fear to believe AGAIN.
But PERFECT love has no fear and I need to allow AGAPE to drive it all away

AGAPE YOU ARE WELCOME HERE.

Monday thoughts! My monday TRUTH!

I don’t think I know of any one who doesn’t go through the motions of life. There is a song I listen too often, called “lows and highs” by S.O and Leah Smith. It is the epitome of how I feel half the time. Many are the days one finds themselves questioning God what their purpose on earth is. My prayer everyday is for God to give all of my days meaning. I am terrified by the thought of merely existing and missing out on the abundant life Jesus died to give me. Yet I desire not to live by this fear since the righteous must live by faith.

I’ll put it in perspective/I was waking up at night asking am I still elected/Or rather was I ever, wanting to die since that’s better than living life as a hostage in time/Am I crossing the line?/Here’s some thoughts in my mind/This the lowest that I’ve been caught up in a rhyme/

It is so easy to doubt your calling. I must confess there are days I feel like a complete failure and these are the times I need God Himself to affirm me. Encouraging words from a friend sometimes doesn’t cut it. My maker has to come closely to my ear and whisper those life giving words. “I am for you. You matter. There is a calling over your life. You are where you need to be.”  I don’t know about you but God sure has a way with words. Makes perfect sense why HE IS THE WORD-The very breathe of life.

 The reality is that life isn’t easy but the truth is that God is good. The Christian walk in itself is a tough one. I am truly thankful that the joy of the Lord is our strength. Our strength though dark and dim days. I always say that joy is a wrestle. You can’t be passive about it, it just doesn’t happen. You have to want it to receive it. 

You’ve heard the term “the devil is a liar.” Well he is and a very good one at that. When the enemy is fabricating all sorts of lies concerning who I am and why I am here and my heart is deceived into believing them, I must be keen to remind myself of the TRUTH. The truth is what God says about me. The truth is not a mere fact. The truth is Higher than what I’m feeling. The truth is eternal so it doesn’t have an expiry date. The truth doesn’t change. The truth IS. 

In every waking moment, the TRUTH IS, because God IS.  It is readily available for me at all times, and I must simply be AWARE OF IT. Anytime I feel low and downcast, it is only because I have forgotten and walked away from the TRUTH.

The truth is that God foreknew me before He formed me. The truth is that I am made in His image and likeness. The truth is that I am called and chosen by Him. The truth is that I am His masterpiece and He has created me with different gifts that He is calling forth and has purposed to use for His glory. The truth is that He alone is the author and finisher of my faith and that He clearly isn’t finished with me yet.

So my fellow brethren, what have you allowed to define you today?

Return to the TRUTH. I will remind each one of you that your story isn’t over. Keep seeking Him in all you do. Keep chasing after His heart. He alone holds your purpose. He has many good plans for you and you must begin trusting and stop questioning. Your purpose is unfolding everyday and you must ask God to open your eyes to it. It is beautiful and it is perfect. Just have faith especially when you can’t see it.

Jeremiah 29:11

BLIND MAN WALKING

I'll keep this one short and precise! Or atleast I'll try.

So God has a sense of humor. I began writing this post and barely a minute in, a blind man comes up to the shop where I work for some loose change. He isn't the first to come over begging for change yet he is the first who didn't remain silent like all the others. He was talking to his companion the whole time wearing that "do you have something to put in this jar cause I have things to do" look! :-))))
Then one of our customers watching him says, "he cant see but he looks like a man who has sight."
Wow! When he said that I immediately thought of all those times I too looked like a person with good sight when all along I was blind [spiritually].
I remembered a line in an old hymn, "I was blind but now I see."

I honestly thought my sight was fully restored the day I gave my life to Christ.
I saw His glory and I saw how blind I had been all along. I thought I was seeing right!

Well the scales may have fallen, yet seeing is a PROCESS in any believers life.
[Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12]

Just recently I was thinking about how the way I SEE GOD affects how I see everyone and everything else.
If I keep my eyes on God, when a problem arises, I'll only see it as an opportunity to see Him manifest His power.
If I keep my eyes on God, trials aren't dreadful because they are simply a way for the Holy Spirit to work His gifts within me.
If I keep my eyes on God, weakness is really just a chance for Christ' power to be made perfect in Him being my strength.
If I keep my eyes on God, I am able to reach out to hurting people instead of seeing them as "people with issues!"
If I keep my eyes on God,  when need arises in another persons life and they ask of my help, I am then able and eager to meet it instead of seeing those people as burdens.
If I keep my eyes on God, a child asking questions even when I'm busy isn't a disturbance but the blessing of a very inquisitive child.
If I keep my eyes on God, a baby crying isn't a headache but a baby simply communicating!

Seeing God changes everything!!

In essence seeing GOD is what we call FAITH.
Looking at what is before us, and choosing to SEE Him in it.
Looking at what ISN'T and still choosing to SEE HIM.
Faith is spiritual sight!
And I'm excited to SEE GOD, every day,  in every way that He can be seen.

JOB 19:26-And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God;

FEELING INSUFFICIENT? WELCOME TO THE CLUB!

Happy new year people!!

22 days in and by God's grace I will finish this post.

Haven't blogged in over a year and the truth is that I haven't been able to do so. I have over 20 unfinished  pieces on my computer to show for it but all in all I bless God for the gift of writing and more-so for that of reading. I read many beautiful books last year. I admit I'm a slow reader yet I am proud of it. I believe that sometimes each page, each beautiful revelation must be taken in slowly and surely so that it may be understood.
I believe that 2012 was my year to just hush up and read. Anytime I thought I had a lot to share was when I wrote the least.
In all honesty, I believe that it was God's doing.

Although it was His will for me not to write as much, I struggled and I had moments when I WANTED IT BAD!!!
Other times I was frustrated that He didn't want to use me in that area. I feared I had lost my gift and doubted if I ever had it in the first place. I feared that I was no good. I felt insufficient in many areas of my life and I looked down on every gift God had given me. It was a real struggle. A battle that only me and God knew about. NO amount of encouragement could have made me feel any better. I needed to be afirmed by God Himself.


Yet here I am writing this simple post as a testimony of believing God when you doubt yourself. For the longest time my problem was unbelief IN GOD. Now I find that believing Him isn't the problem [we're still working on this daily] and that my greatest doubt is that of my own capabilities.

Thank God for grace. Thank God that He alone is the AUTHOR and FINISHER of our faith. Thank God that we are enabled through Christ to do all things. Thank God that He finished the greatest work that He started through the life, death and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ.

How does this affect me? How does this change my way of thinking and how does this alter my downcast emotions?
WELL IN A BIG WAY!
It is liberating to know that I don't have to try all those SELF-HELP tactics to boost up my self [flesh] up and that all I have to do is feed my SPIRIT MAN with this NOURISHING-EMPOWERING WORD that we call the BREAD OF LIFE. In doing so, the more I come to understand that I ONLY HAVE TO BELIEVE IN GOD. There lies my strength and hope. There is where I find my belonging in His BECOMING. I dare not look down on the gifts that God has given me. They are good, perfect and from above, tailor-made to suit my personality and character.
I need not worry about writing as everyone else does. I need not feel like that I lack eloquence. I need not compare my gifts to those other wonderful gifts that others have, I need only BELIEVE in God because He started this and He will finish it Himself.

Today I have written. It may seem as a small thing in your eyes but to me, this is a serious MIRACLE!
I am praising God as I type this.
I pray that He may heal you and take away all those insecurities as He has me.

Above all don't stress. I may have teared up many times staring at the blank screen of my laptop. I may have felt useless in that area yet it all changed when I was recently encouraged by a friend of mine.
She told me that the greatest story was that of writing our love in the lives of others. That type of writing isn't done with a pen or on a keyboard. It is story that is written by God alone and experienced by us. Friendships are beautiful stories and each season shared with another person is simply another chapter in our life stories.
Im more excited to LIVE in that story.
I can say it with confidence that if my life amounts to merely one chapter in print, then it is well with me for it is ONE LONG BOOK in God's sight.

To live and write again.